so a week ago today i broke up with josh on the phone and haven’t heard from him since. i havent had that many days crying in bed but i woke up today just feeling so sad and wishing i could go back in time. it is really crazy how things change. a year ago today we were sooo in love. and everything was perfect.
it sucks to feel like you don’t have an identity without someone else around. its not good. i got so wrapped up in josh because i really thought we would be together forever. and now that he’s gone i don’t even know what my interests are, or what i like to do, or how to spend my time when i’m not at work.
i almost feel like i just moved to chico. except i’ve lived here for two years and literally all my memories involve josh because i met him the first weekend i moved up here. so i’m constantly being reminded of him and how he’s not here, everyday.
i wonder what he’s doing. i wonder if he’s still moving up here and going to butte this semester. or if hes going to live at home. and how hes going to pay off his loans. and if hes hooking up with hella girls. or if hes really miserable and doesnt know what to do with himself, like me. i wonder if i will ever talk to him ever again.
i wonder if this is the beginning of many bad days or if i just need to get this out of my system for things to get easier